I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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