my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
