I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
