Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I checked into jail on foursquare
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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