I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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