i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize