gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
