do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
