im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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