If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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