i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
