dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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