Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
