I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
