Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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