I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
