absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's shark week go big or go home
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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