is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She bit a glass in half.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
