So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
whose parrot is this?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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