You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
