I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
