This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
