playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
