used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
