If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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