She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
