wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
