i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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