the condom got lost in my hair
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
