I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize