i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
