this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize