after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
