Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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