I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
