I just cut my nipple shaving
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
