Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
