Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
