How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
