What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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