That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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