I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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