P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
