Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.

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(231): View more from Michigan

I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.

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(714): View more from California

For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.

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(815): View more from Illinois

We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.

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(705): View more from Ontario

There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!

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(612): View more from Minnesota

My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck

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(725): View more from

It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian

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