The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
