So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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