when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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