There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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