So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
