We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I want her autograph on my taint
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
