UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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