fuck your aforementioned shoe
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
