maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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