it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just puked most of my soul out..
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