Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
