You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
