He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
