Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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