I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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