are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
