I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
