I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
