Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
