just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
