you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
