The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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